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Recorded a Song

Tomorrow my final recording of Stockholm Syndrome releases on all of these platforms! Please go buy my song on itunes or any of these or listen to it on any of them and add it to your playlists! My artist name is DaniRoxxi. If you can’t read all of these ask me! 

Sorry I have been away for some time. I have been dealing with a lot but also working on good things like singing and somgwriting! I hope you all like it and can share it on your blogs, social media, ect. Please and thank you! I love you all! A new update to come soon again

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I’m Back!

Hello my wonderful readers I am so happy for those of you who have stayed loyal to reading my blog. I am so so sorry that I haven not written anything in a while. I have been going through a lot of struggles. I have been struggling a lot with restricting and I’m so addicted to it. I have come to a realization that restricting food and not really eating has been the hardest addiction to break out of. I have six months under my belt of not purging, not using laxatives, and not using diet pills. That is a huge accomplishment for me because I have never been able to get that long within the nine years that I have struggled with my disorder. However, the restricting is high up there still. It gives me a false sense of power and I can’t seem to stop doing it. It’s one of the most difficult parts of my recovery as a whole.

I have been working at my recovery day in and day out, second by second of every day. It has been tough though dealing with family problems. They have been pressing into my life so greatly it’s hard to ignore no matter how much I try or speak my mind to them about it. It’s been extremely frustrating trying to work on yourself while trying not to be involved in the intermediate family problems that are going on in, what you used to call  a safe and secure, home. It doesn’t quite feel like home lately no matter how much effort is put in through myself and some what my parents. It is not the same and I have no idea what to do except try to avoid everyone else’s problems. I just started a five month business school program in late March to try and get a more career type of job in order to depend on myself more than anyone else in my life for anything. Starting this school has been, I’ll be honest, kind of stressful especially when your “home” life isn’t going like you’d hope and when your restricting you can’t seem to get under control.

I will go into some positive things though! I have the accomplishments of not purging, not using laxatives, not using diet pills, and starting a whole new path for myself within going to this school. Although I am going to school five days a week from nine am to four pm I was able to save up enough money to continue my vocal, piano, and songwriting lessons. I have participated at two open mic nights within the past two months at the studio I take my lessons at. I performed the same song both times. The song I performed is my own song I wrote with some help from my vocal teacher Jes. It is a song I wrote that expresses the struggles of someone with an eating disorder. More so my personal experiences dealing with anorexia and bulimia. I am going to leave a link for a video of one of the performances. I hope you all click the YouTube link and take a listen to my song I have worked so hard on. It is an important and a very emotional song for me and I hope it speaks to others struggling with an eating disorder and helps others to understand, who may not have one, what it feels like going through one. I am also in the process of having it recorded so hopefully soon I can put it on Itunes and/or spotify and/or soundcloud.

I thank you all so much for continuing to read my blog. I am going to make it an effort to continue to update you all on what is going on. Also,  I will have separate posts soon about my first time to California, Orange County, and my second time, coming up this week on Friday, to Los Angeles. They were amazing adventures and my first time on the west coast and my first time on an airplane! Until later, here is the link for my video. Thank you!

 

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Update

  Greetings everyone I am so sorry I have not posted on here in some time. It has been a very difficult time for me since I last posted. I have been dealing with extreme depression and anxiety. I was acting in restrictions on eating, I have been dealing with many flashbacks from all of the traumas I have been through, the losses of loved ones I haven’t properly dealt with, and a week ago I was in the hospital. It has been an extremely difficult time for me but I am trying to gain back motivation to write again, to sing again, and to read again. The things I once loved and am passionate about I have barely engaged in. However, I am hoping through great efforts I will get back to these things to give me sanity again. I need to work on the things I enjoy to have a happier life. It hasn’t been an easy road these past couple of months at all. Although, I have had an excellent support from my family, my boyfriend, some of my best friends. I cannot thank them enough for standing by me and trying to understand what I have been dealing with. I appreciate them more than words can say and I love them all so very, very dearly.

  Life will throw a million and one different issues. However, what I am trying to see the light in is that no matter what it may throw at you, you cannot give up and give in to harmful behaviors. I acted in one very major harmful behavior aside from restricting, which is why I ended up in the hospital, but I have to keep reaching for the light at the end of the tunnel. Even trying to see that light though is hard in itself. The things I have been dealing with have not been great at all and I have lost sight of so many things. Life is not all rainbows and it’s definitely not all peachy either. The lesson though to be learned within myself and to anyone else struggling is to keep on fighting do not give into giving up. I practically almost did and it was far from the answer I needed. It’s not something I should have done. Unfortunately, I did though and now I can only push forward from here on out. Thank you all so much for continuing to read my blog you are all wonderful! I will be better at keeping up to date with my blog too! Thank you so much for reading everyone! 

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An amazing early birthday present for me



I received an early birthday present from my boyfriend. I cried when I saw this because on January 16th of 2015 my dog passed away and then this past January 16th of 2016 my uncle, whom I was extremely close with passed away as well. I haven’t/ nor had properly grieved for either. I am ised to covering up my emotions and not feeling the pain when it’s demanding me to go through it to get better. I have had this problem practically all my life and not just with losses either. This has to be one of the most heartfelt and sentimental gifts I have ever been given. Words Cannot describe just how much this gift meant to me. He truly is a keeper, wouldn’t you all agree!? 

 Aside from me showing you all this gift I would like to say something else. I want you all to know if you’re going through any kind of loss, trauma, difficult time, etc. Don’t ever avoid it. Do not ever just keep pushing it away. The best way to get through it is to feel and face it all. Take my advice and don’t try to push it away, no matter how painful it may be.

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When In Rome (Or on someone elses blog).

When given the opportunity to write on a blog that isn’t my own, I’ll take the chance to do so. Now this may seem that I’ve written on several blogs already as a guest writer, but that claim I will shoot down on the instant. In fact, this is the only time I’ve ever wrote on someone else’s page, but I just had a compelling urge to do so being that the owner of this blog is very important to me (among many other things).

If you haven’t guessed it already, Im the boyfriend of Dani, Sal. I recently had the honor of having her accept me as her boyfriend, and by God its been some time in the making. We’ve talked for a long time while I was living out in California and Ive had the desire to have her in my life on a deeper level for the same long while. Though after much time spent together with each other physically when I returned home, as well as many deep conversations and interactions, I was finally able to follow my hearts desire and take the plunge (or I should say go for the rise) in asking her to be with me. And ever since, I couldn’t be happier.

I should say actually that just meeting this woman has been a life changing event. She sheds so much light into my life and truly has changed it for the better. My outlook on the world at large is normally filled with such pessimistic ideas and values that it clouds any true sight of light. My whole existence would be lucky to see any trace of grey areas within my thoughts of black and white. Thats where she is a huge blessing. Dani allows me to see the grey while also inviting color into my realm. She brings a happiness about me I’ve never felt before as well as a love and tenderness that only someone with a deep passion for caring about individuals and people as a whole could bring. Her love, humor, passions, and overall composition is truly remarkable, and I feel its only tribute to her that I state this on here, as she literally sits feet away from me wondering what I could possibly be typing on here so vigorously and diligently, while holding such self conscious thoughts like “will she like this?” “is this good enough?” “is this ok to say??”.

The truth though is that if I look within my heart (also another thing I can proudly say she has taught me to do), I know those answers. Of course she would like this, because its from the heart and soul that is me, and she admires just that. It will always be good enough, because any effort at all to show her care and appreciation is greatly noted. And of course this is ok to say, because once more its all truthful, and just how I feel about this wonderful creature (I like to think of her as a goddess) that I am so beyond happy to be with. Honestly, this woman has taught me a lot of things in the time knowing her, some valuable life lessons that I will hold close to me forevermore and I am eternally grateful (and I’m not trying to sound like the cute aliens from toy story, but lets all just take a second here to revel in the adorableness of them…. ok back to the post).

So I guess to conclude to excerpt, Im so glad to be now dating the wonderful writer that you all see moving forward on her long journey of recovery. Im so grateful to be a part of her process, as for I also am in recovery from an eating disorder which had once been life threatening. Im happy to say that now my recovery only continues to get stronger and with you beloved poster Dani, together we will be moving in the correct direction to each have happy and fulfilling lives. Her recovery is one I cherish and her stories are nothing but inspirational and I am so glad you all get to experience the beauty that is her, her story, and what she has to offer to help and aid anyone in succeeding in what they desire in life. I hope this was interesting to you all, and maybe you’ll hear from me again sometime XD (I don’t know what this face is, but it humors me and is insanely cute which is the perfect way to say thanks for reading!).

 

Post Script (or ps, the abbreviation)

I too have a blog, which I feel is uninteresting and its been sometime since I’ve posted, but feel free to check it out too! Take care!

https://somethingotherthanyourself.wordpress.com/

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Update!

I am so sorry I have not updated in a while my wonderful readers! Here is a little update on me:
  On May 22nd I said yes to being special someone’s girlfriend! It was very unexpected to fall for someone a couple of months after a relationship I had just got out of. We started talking and getting to know each other as friends after and then things became different. He goes through some of the same stuff I do. He is extremely understanding to all of what I go through because he’s gone through it too! It wasn’t something I expected in all honesty when we started talking as friends. What can I say things happen! I think the way he understood/understands and how he helped/helps me through everything is amazing. Unexpected definitely but am I happy, absolutely! Thank you Sal!
  Next on my update is how I have been doing in my vocal lessons! I have been working hard and have four of my own songs that I have written recorded. How cool is that!? My own songs! It’s awesome! I also decided to do something so out of my comfort zone. On June 18th I will be auditioning for The Voice! It’s so wild but I’m doing it! I thought about auditioning for like American Idol before but never did. I decided to take a chance! If I don’t get picked though it will just give me more drive to continue to enhance my singing. Then I can try again next year! I am determined! Living means stepping out of your comfort zone and this is one huge step! You would think I would have taken maybe a smaller step first. Nope! Oh well!
   Lastly, on my update I have been working hard on my recovery. I have been working through flashbacks, doing my absolute best not to use ED symptoms, and trying to work on my traumas. It’s tough and I have bad days but I also have really great days that overpower all the terrible days! It’s a long journey but I can’t step off this recovery road. I want to be able to be happy with me and love who I am. I have so many dreams in life that I need to achieve without these obstacles so hugely in my way.
  That’s it for now guys! I hope you all have a good rest of the night! I hope you all sleep well and have the loveliest of dreams! You’re all so amazing! Never forget it!
  

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Help a girl out! Please and Thank you!

So my good friend from Germany needs donations for a book she is trying to get published! Any donation to help make it happen is very much appreciated! Even five dollars is so greatly appreciated! Pleas and thank you all!!

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Liebster Award Nomination

Today I received an extremely out of nowhere message from a good friend of mine and it was her nominating my blog for a Liebster Award! I have been nominated by https://perfectionhasapriceblog.com/ ! Her blog is a fantastic read and you should all definitely go and read it! You should also follow her blog! Anyways I had no idea what this award was about so I looked it up. It is given to bloggers by other bloggers. Liebster in German apparently means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. When I read what it means I felt even more touched to have been nominated for this award. I already felt honored when I had read the message but even more so after I looked it up. My blog has come so far since I started it and I couldn’t be happier! However, my blog has only come this far because of all of you that continue to read it! There aren’t enough thank yous in this entire universe to thank all of my lovely readers. You are all beyond wonderful! A million times thank you, thank you, thank you!

And now the answers to the questions I was asked to answer:

1. What is your favorite place you like to go to relax?

I have a hard time with anything favorites because I love so many things. The top two places I like to go to relax is any place outside that involves nature and a library/ book store
2. What place have you never been to but would love to visit?

I have way too many places I would love to visit and that I have never been to! There are so many alone in the US and then ones around the world. From Tennessee, to Greece, to Arizona, to Italy, etc.
3. Why and/or how did you start your blog?

I started my blog out of a sheer random thought about starting a blog. I had always wanted to but never did at first. Then one day the urge began to just grow stronger. I then thought maybe my blog can help people with mental health illnesses. I also thought even people not suffering with it can still enjoy it. Others without maybe benefit from the awareness I post too. Then there’s also baking tips, reviews, and other random things I post that anyone can read! I was so excited with this idea and too determined. I then asked a friend who had a blog how I can make one. She helped me and now here I am with my blog. I am so grateful to the readers especially though because on how far my blog has come because of them.
4. What is your favorite song or what song do you feel speaks to you most?

Like I have stated in the first question it is hard for me to pick favorites of anything. I have listened to so many songs that speak to me and that I love. I feel passionately about so many songs and love to sing them. Singing ties into my music passion and I have been taking vocal lessons because the fire in me about singing and music needed to come out! haha!
5. What movie do you know almost all the words to?

I am actually not sure if I know almost all the words to any movie. If I had to choose though it would be one of these three (maybe): The Fault in Our Stars, Paper Towns, or The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
6. What’s your favorite animal?

Once again favorites ugh hahahaha! I don’t have a favorite animal I am an animal lover. I love all animals I think they are all unique and all adorable and wonderful in their own ways.
7. What do you do for a living, or what would you like to do for a living?

I work at Starbucks for the time being. I would like to be a counselor or something to that degree for children and adolescents along with being a writer/author.
8. What is the reasoning behind the name of your blog?

The reason for the name of my blog (I’m assuming not the danikitty part) is because I felt I am this unknown strange girl randomly talking and writing to people through my blog. My thoughts, feelings, knowledge, tips, etc. and no one knows me. If you don’t know me and just read my blog maybe your first thought is who’s that girl, who’s that girl on that blog. I thought it was kind of unique and creative and I liked it.
9. What is your favorite quote?

UGH favorites again!!!! haha!! I have way too many favorite quotes as well. I will give you one of my favorites that I have always been able to relate to since I have known about it. “Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters.” – John Green
10. If you had to go a week with only one item, what would it be?

This is a tough question actually! haha! I can at least narrow it down to two items. It would have to be either a book or my Ipod.
11. What is your favorite thing in nature? (i.e a rainbow, the woods, the ocean…etc.)

I love literally everything about nature. My last blog post states that I believe, if you haven’t read that it do it! Please and thank you! 😀 ! Anyway, I absolutely love everything in nature, it all is just a wonderful thing! All of it is a part of what makes this universe so precious and beautiful.However, if you want me to choose just one I will say the moon. The moon is such a calming thing to me. It is so wonderful and leaves me breathless. I am obsessed with it.

Here are 11 random facts about me:

  1. I have way over 20 stuffed animal monkeys
  2. I love coffee too much
  3. I can come up with pretty good dance choreography to different songs
  4. I drew a self portrait in my senior year of high school and it as put in an art show in Boston
  5. I’ve written and am still writing novels
  6. I love Hello Kitty
  7. I love John Green
  8. I love to play board games
  9. I have always wanted to go star gazing somewhere in the country side
  10. I have arachnophobia, legitimately
  11. I am obsessed with the name Roxxi

 

I would like to nominate these five blogs for this award as well:

https://the1itinerary.com/

https://somethingotherthanyourself.wordpress.com/

https://aubreymeeksart.com/

http://thehopefulwayfarer.com/

https://bignbeautiful02.wordpress.com/

 

 

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This Beautiful World

I have, and always have, been thinking about this world that we live in. I notice the beauty this universe holds every time I set foot outside of my front door. All the incredible things this place gives us. I wonder how many people actually ever stop to look around and realize what’s around them. It doesn’t matter if it’s snowing, raining, the sun is shining, etc. Each and everyday is so precious and I take the time to notice all these wonderful things that surround me. The sky, the clouds, the stars, the sun, the moon, the grass, the trees, the flowers, the flowing rivers, the wind through your hair, the oceans, and just everything! I haven’t even seen much of this world but God what I have seen already, it’s so breathtaking. I can’t wait to see more of it. Every second I breathe in a breath of fresh air and look around me I feel so alive. I feel copious amounts of energy flow through me. The way I feel is just so amazing. I completely recommend taking the time out of each day to really realize what’s surrounding you. Take time to really see the beauty this universe has to offer you. Take time to actually be present in the moment and really live for today. Today is beautiful and it’s all yours! You have the power to make your day, or even at least two minutes of your day, so wonderful just by seeing all the lovely things that are right in front of you. Each day you are given is the most precious gift you can ever receive. Make the most of each day because no matter how bad of a day you had you can always find one good thing about that day. Every single day you have on this earth is a really good thing! You have this incredible opportunity to take just one minute of your day to really look at something and realize just how amazing and beautiful this world really is. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day/night!

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Vocal Lesson Update

  I have been going through a lot lately and one of the few things that’s been keeping me sane is my vocal lessons. Every Wednesday excites me because I know when 5 PM comes around I will be at my vocal lesson! I have become so much more passionate about singing than I used to be. The reason for this is because now I am finally pursuing it. I am recording, I am writing, and singing my own songs besides the one cover I did.
  Yesterday I went to vocal wanting to find a tune; melody to a song I wrote. The lyrics are about a girl finally remembering repressed memories from her childhood. Now the girl is going through the feelings of these memories and flashbacks. I wrote it because it is something I have been going through myself. We were changing up the lyrics a little so it wasn’t so much rhyming. My vocal teacher was coming up with lines that just was stating how I feel. It was so spine chilling! I was getting goosebumps from it all! I then suddenly had more determination to really work on my traumas more. To really work through them so I can finally actually live my life! The passion in me lately for writing and singing is just incredible! I don’t ever want to lose this feeling and I don’t believe I ever will. I encourage all of you to go for your dreams and don’t ever lose your passion for them.